Don’t even think about it.
We’re pretty attached to our v**ina, especially since it brings so much fun into our lives. But we keep trying to bring some really inappropriate things into the fun. While we may think it’s exciting and kinky to be adding foods and shiny toys to play time, we really need to be a lot more careful about what goes in there, specifically, these ten things:
1 Fruit and vegetables
Bananas and cucumbers have been notoriously labeled as the “naughty” or a “let me try that just once” gadget due to its shape, size, and easy accessibility during experimental years.
But Dr. Yvonka, a clinical sexologist, warns against it: “This is a big no-no and can be quite risky health-wise due to the variety of little critters and bacteria it is exposed to!” No matter how well you clean those fruits and veggies, chances are they’re still carrying around critters, dirt, and bacteria.
Food in general is a good idea to keep above the belt, not below. Just because they’re man-hood-shaped doesn’t mean they belong near your v**ina.
Douching can reduce natural bacteria in the v**ina, introduce foreign bacteria, and irritate the mucous lining. It’s also been scientifically linked to pelvic inflammatory disease, chlamydia, gonorrhea, bacterial vaginitis, cervical cancer, reduced fertility, and ectopic pregnancy, says Taylor Stokes, a sexpert at Free Your V.
3 Hair dye
Sure, we all want to show men our pink, heart-shaped welcome mat. But beware: our skin down there is way more sensitive than on our head, meaning hair-dye related burns and irritations are far more likely. And if you’re really adamant about dyeing your pubic hair, do your research first and find products that are free of irritants.
4 Certain lubricants
Lubes that contain parabens, petrochemicals, DEA, glycerin, methylisothiazolinone, and fragrance are a big no-no. Many of these ingredients are linked to cancer, hormone balance disruption, and skin irritations, says Stokes. Also be aware that oil-based lubes are thicker and harder to cleanse out of your lady parts, which can lead to infection.
5 Living things
Whatever floats your boat, ladies. But just realize that animals may decide they like it better in your vina and stick around, says Jason S. James, M.D., and medical director of FemCare Ob-Gyn, LLC. I mean, should “animals” and “your vina” even be used in the same sentence.
6 Sharp objects
“I’ve heard of knitting needles getting stuck,” says Dr. James. This also includes fragile items like light bulbs and glass bottles.
7 Dirty toilet paper
Ladies, this goes without saying, but ALWAYS wipe front to back. Not doing so can result in fecal matter making its way into your v**ina, leading to infection.
Medications, drugs, and alcohol can become absorbed in too high quantities because the vina is very vascular and absorbs chemicals very efficiently, says Dr. James. There’s an urban legend about women placing vodka-laced tampons in their vina to absorb the martini-buzz into their bloodstream. But NO, this is NOT a good idea.
9 Soft plastic s*x toys
Because s*x toys are sold as “novelty items,” they’re not FDA-regulated for body safety.
Many toy manufacturers don’t even list the ingredients in their toys, leaving us in the dark about what we’re putting into and around our vaginas. “Many soft plastic/rubber toys are made with phthalates, some of which have been designated as possible human carcinogens,” says Dr. Emily Morse, a sx expert.